The Eulogy, Part I

Cycles of hope and regret do not apply here.
You were always lonely,but
never desperate enough to trust your own judgement.
You were violently in love,
violently out of love.
You could never escape that sinking feeling
as time passed and you could not.
You watched the mirror, waiting for something new.
The comfort and familiarity came to you
flickering in the glow of the florescent globes
which framed you.
You would not look away,
you were all you had.
You ached for someone who would
litter you with scraps of paper
saved with the hope of importance.
You wanted that spinning clatter,
the beautiful noise of
careless clutter.
But still you decided to run.
Every day you ran.
You just shouldered your way through the interactions,
you soldiered on.
Your tongue was never welcoming,
only inviting.
You punished yourself
for your own shortcomings through them.
At some point you should have laid down arms.
But you strayed,
you walked away.
If reincarnation was real it wouldn't matter.
You keep making the same mistakes,
or you wouldn't be here.